Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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