is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
