forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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