I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
