I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
third nipple confirmed
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
