it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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