I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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