I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
accomplished twins. life is a go
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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