my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I could have mohawked her pubes.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
