Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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