So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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