I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
