I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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