Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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