Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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