Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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