My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
