can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
