i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
