There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
