Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
