Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
