You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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