Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
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