And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
