from now on my penis is your penis
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
