There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
