i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
