Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Randomize
