I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
