Dual....:-)
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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