i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
It was confusing and full of hummus
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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