Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
The best revenge is premature balding
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
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