so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
