Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize