Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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