I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
