I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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