I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
the condom got lost in my hair
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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