I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
This girl is more easily done than said...
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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