He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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