i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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