so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
