I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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