I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize
