I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
