soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i think i scared a bird with my dick
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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