i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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