Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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