He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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