He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
