john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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