areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Randomize
