His pubic hair was longer than his dick
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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