Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
