is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
