We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Found your dick twin last night
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
