cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
She just used a chaser for red wine.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
