Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
